Today
by CRebel
Summary: A companion to my *Sydney* stories. Carl's thoughts on Sydney Dixon throughout the series.
1. I Met You

**A.N.: I had no intention of doing yet another spinoff of my Sydney series. I truly didn't. But a lot of you expressed interest in a story like this, and it just seemed like it could be so much fun, and . . . I cracked. So, here it is, a collection of one-shots from Carl's POV, concerning, of course, Sydney and all things related to her. The format's different from what I usually do, so feedback is very much welcome (encouraged, really - no author hates reviews). I hope you guys enjoy. And, of course, I own nothing from _The Walking Dead._**

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**Outside Atlanta**

Today, I met you, but I don't think you want to be friends with me. I don't think you want to be friends with anyone. But . . . I think we _could_ be friends. You and me. If you would be a little nicer.

You didn't talk to anyone. Not to me, or any of the other kids, or any grownup. You didn't smile. Even my mom smiles sometimes, just to be friendly. But . . . you didn't look sad, the way a lot of people do, the way Sophia does a lot. You didn't even look that scared. You were . . . on edge. Like, as if you thought we might be bad guys, and you wanted to leave. But we're not bad guys. And Shane says it's safe here, so you shouldn't leave.

You came here with your dad and uncle, and you stayed behind them at first, but stared us all down. That was pretty cool. You looked at me, and I looked back, but you looked away fast. Stared at someone else. Your dad and your uncle sounded kind of mean when they talked to Shane and Dale, but you guys are staying here now, so everything must be okay. My mom pulled me away pretty fast, but I watched from inside the RV. Your uncle spat on the ground a lot. He was kind of scary. Your dad was, too, but he squeezed your shoulder once, and you looked up at him and looked less on edge for a second. So I think he's probably okay.

Shane told my mom more about you guys later, when she was cooking dinner. I sort of overheard, and that's how I found out about your mom. That she's dead. My dad's dead, too, so . . . I know how it feels.

You're in your tent now, even though it's not dark yet. Sophia wanted to play tag, but I said no. My mom would tell me I should ask you to play, too, and I wouldn''t want to do that. Like I said, your dad and uncle are kind of scary. And you're kind of scary, too. I don't think you'd want to play tag. I don't think you're like me, or the other kids. You're quieter. But I still . . . I kind of still want to talk to you. Maybe _because_ you don't seem like us. But . . . I don't know.

Your dad said your name was Sydney. My name's Carl. I don't know if you know that yet. Maybe tomorrow we can talk, and I'll tell you. And maybe you'll play tag with us after all. Or we can just hang out, like older kids do. Maybe I can get you to smile. And maybe you'll decide you _do_ want to be friends. I keep thinking about you, so I guess I already know that I want us to be.


	2. You Played Tag

**Outside Atlanta**

Today was your fourth day at the camp, and you played tag with us.

I saw you watching. You were sitting outside your tent with one of Dale's books, but you weren't reading it. Eliza was it, and it was freeze tag – I like normal better, but Sophia got to choose this time – and she had tagged Louis already and was after just me and Sophia now. Only, she must have seen you then. I know if your dad or uncle had been around, she wouldn't have gone near you. Everybody in the camp gives them their space. But you're just a kid. Even if you're different from us, you _are _just a kid, and people can't say to steer clear of a kid. So I guess Eliza thought you could play, too. So she tagged you, and yelled "Freeze!" and ran away, and you looked like you didn't understand what had happened. I knew you did, though, because everyone knows freeze tag. Eliza ran off after Sophia. She didn't see me hiding over by the RV. So I ran over and touched your shoulder. That meant you were unfrozen, but you kind of moved away when I did it, so I told you out loud. You said you knew what it meant, but you'd never asked to play.

"Well, do you want to?"

It took you a long time to answer, but you did.

"Fine."

And you jumped up, boom, and just started running after Eliza. You're a fast runner. And it made me think that maybe you aren't so different from us after all.

But then, later, you sat down to eat with your dad and your uncle, and you didn't look my way once. I really don't get you.


	3. We Ate Lunch Together

**Outside Atlanta**

Today, your dad went hunting, and I know you were upset about it. I saw your red eyes when you went to give Dale back one of his books. You tried hard not to let anyone see, but I did. I don't know why it made you sad like that, exactly. Maybe you're worried, but maybe you wanted to go. I know you like hunting. It's just, you don't seem like you would cry over something like that, so if it _is_ that you're worried, I don't think you should be. Your dad seems like nothing could kill him.

But . . . I always thought my dad was like that.

Still, I thought I might tell you that I thought your dad would be fine. I wanted to make you feel better. And I came close, when we ate lunch together, but . . . well, it was the first time we've ever really done that. My mom's been sort of keeping an eye on you. She keeps an eye on all of the kids – her and Carol do, anyway – but you still keep away a lot. Only – you didn't today. I liked having you with us. Anyway, I couldn't just blurt out that you shouldn't be worried about your dad. For one thing, I don't know that that's actually the problem. And for another, it might have embarrassed you. You didn't even want me to know that you had been crying. So we talked about _Harry Potter _instead. I've only seen the movies, but you've read most of the books. You're really smart, I think. And I think we're going to talk some more.

And later, you smiled at me. It was only a little smile, when your uncle called you in for the night from doing school stuff Mom and Carol thinks us kids should still be doing. I think you almost didn't mean to, it just kind of happened. It was weird, but good-weird. It made me smile, even though you didn't see it, because you had already turned away.


	4. I Saw You Scared

**Outside Atlanta**

Today, I found out that my dad's alive.

My dad's alive, Sydney.

Mom and I both cried. Boys aren't supposed to cry, but for times like this, I think it's okay. I have my dad back. My mom, my dad, and me, we're all together. Everything's going to be okay now.

Except . . . Your uncle didn't come back with the group that went on the supply run to Atlanta. The group that brought my dad back. Because my dad . . . He handcuffed your uncle to a pipe on the roof. He said he had to, and I believe him. My dad would never do anything like that unless he had to. But I saw your face when you found out. For really the first time, I think I saw you scared. And you walked away from my dad, Shane, and Dale, and I wanted to go after you. But my dad was here. And you and me, we've only played tag a few times, and talked a little. I thought you probably wanted to be alone.

But I want you to know that I'm sorry. It's still the best day of my life, but I'm . . . I'm just sorry.


	5. I Saw You Crying

**Outside Atlanta**

Today, people died. You and me are alive, but a lot of people aren't. It can happen so fast. This morning, Amy said she would teach me how to fish. Now she's . . .

I was so scared. I want to be brave, but it's so hard now. You had to be scared, too, but I didn't notice. That's bad, but I didn't. You and me, we're only sort of friends. I was worried about me and Mom and Shane through most of it. But I know you were around. And I'm glad you're not dead. And I saw you at the end, with your dad. I saw you crying. I was crying, too. It's okay. Even the grownups were crying.

But, I'm all the way at the end of the day. The beginning was better. Sort of.

This morning, you told me you were glad about my dad, and I got to tell you I was sorry about your uncle. You just kind of nodded. I figured that's what you would do. Then we played tag, normal tag. You like it the best, too. Us and the other kids, we played for a while, but we ended up in the woods, almost too far away. You threw your knife at a rabbit, and you missed, but you got pretty close. Sophia thought it was mean of you, but I get it. It's food. It's survival.

But then we saw the walker. It was just a little way from where the rabbit had been, _so _close to us. It was eating a deer, just . . . pulling the guts out of it. We all ran away, even you. We ran back to camp, and my dad and Shane and the others went and killed the walker. We waited for them to get back. But the first person who came out of the woods was your dad. He had shot the deer the walker was eating, but I guess he hadn't killed it all the way and the walker got to it first.

You were happy that he was back. He calls you "Little Bit," which I don't get, but you seem to like it. I guess you are kind of little, but I bet you wouldn't like it if I said that.

But then my dad and Shane told your dad about your uncle. And your dad got mad. I thought . . . I thought he might try to kill my dad. Then my dad would have had to try and kill your dad, and I don't know what would have happened then. But nobody killed anyone. And my dad ended up going with your dad back to Atlanta, along with Glenn and T-Dog. They went to get your uncle, and a bag of guns my dad brought from his and Shane's old police station but lost somewhere in the city.

I didn't want them to go. I didn't want my dad to go, anyway. No offense, but my mom says your uncle isn't a very good guy. Dad said he had to get those guns, though. And don't get me wrong, I would have rather your uncle lived than died, I just . . . I didn't want to lose my dad. Not again. And I know you didn't want to lose your dad, either. But they went anyway.

The day went slow. I caught frogs with Shane. I don't know what you did. Maybe I should have played with you. It doesn't matter now. We did spend some time together, doing math, you and me and Sophia. That's when Jim told me that my dad is tough as nails and told you that your dad is a survivor. The sunstroke he got really messed him up, but he seemed okay then. And it made me feel better. I couldn't tell what it did for you, really. But you nodded. I think . . . I think you believed him.

It got dark, and our dads weren't back yet. They should have been, and we all knew it. But nobody said anything. We ate the fish that Amy and Andrea caught, and even though I was scared, I felt okay. Jim said nothing would stop our dads from getting back to us. He turned out to be right. But the walkers came before our dads could get back. There were so many of them. And they killed so many of us. I'm in the RV now, with you and the other kids. We're supposed to be sleeping, but I can't. People are dead. Our friends. The walkers . . . they just . . . tore them up. Just like the one did to that deer. Shane and my mom got a lot of us close to the RV, and I think we would have been safe there, maybe, but . . . if our dads hadn't finally shown up with those guns, I don't know how things would have ended up. A lot worse, I guess. But it already ended up bad. And I'm really sad. And really scared. I should be used to being scared by now. But it just keeps getting worse.


	6. Your Dad Tried to Kill Jim

**Outside Atlanta**

Today, I thought my dad was going to kill your dad. And you were right next to me when it happened, and it was just . . . it sucked. But if my dad had killed him, your dad would have deserved it. Because that would have meant your dad killed Jim. He got bit last night. I know that's supposed to mean he's going to turn, but my dad thinks there might be a cure for the walkers, which is why in the morning we're going to the CDC. Mom told me that means Center for Disease Control and that they know all about all of the diseases, so I bet they do have a cure. Everything can go back to how it was, and people can stop dying so much.

But your dad didn't think the CDC would be able to do anything. So he tried to kill Jim, before he could turn. My dad put a gun to his head and made him stop. My dad said, "We don't kill the living," and your dad said, "That's funny, coming from the man who just put a gun to my head," but that wouldn't have been the same thing. If my dad had killed your dad, it would have been because he had to. Your dad didn't have to kill Jim. That would have been murder. Like what the walkers do.

I'm trying to be nice to you, and be your friend, but your dad's making it hard. He got into that fight with my dad, and he tried to kill Jim, and this morning he yelled at you when you – and me, too – came out of the RV to get a better look at Jim's bite. It didn't seem to bother you much, but it had to. My dad never yells at me like that. And you know what? You're making it hard for me to be nice, too. You just don't want to talk. I get that my dad might have shot your dad, but he had no choice. You can't be mean because of that. It's not fair.

You didn't really cry when we buried all of the dead people – Amy, and Sophia's dad, too, and . . . all of them. I guess maybe it wasn't so hard on you. You didn't get to know them very well.

I'm glad we're leaving tomorrow.

My dad told me they couldn't find your uncle. Sorry.


End file.
